J is for JIGSAW

Some of my fondest memories of the Christmas and Winter time of the year are doing JIGSAWS with my mom.  We would clear one end of you huge dining room table and pull out a puzzle of at least 1,000 pieces, usually more.  My older brother and I would play a game with the pieces as the JIGSAW got closer to being finished.  We would take one piece and put it in our pocket so that when my mom would be ready to put that last piece in she would be frantic looking for it, and even go so far as to blame the cat for eating it.  We would then casually walk up and place the last piece in.

It became a tradition to work the JIGSAWS on cold days with a cup of hot cocoa for the kids and coffee for the adults.  My mom didn't know that these would be some of my fondest memories or that she was helping me to learn problem solving skills, fine motor skills, and logic.  Skills that would help me be able to connect to my children in a way that teaches them the same skills that I find enjoyable.  Too many toys today or even ways to learn, involve game systems or solidarity.  Working a JIGSAW is a way to interact with children and talk with them giving them the added socialization that many Aspergian and other Gifted Minds so desperately need and lack.  I thank my mom today and everyday for this wonderful gift she has given me.  I will be able to pass this tradition on to my children with joy and an added memory of their grandmother.  We lost my mom earlier this year to Lung Cancer so we treasure all our memories of her. Below is a picture of my mom about 4 months after she was diagnosed.

I is for INTEGRATION

How important is INTEGRATION for a Gifted Mind?

In my opinion, there is not a strong enough word that I know to express how important I feel it is.  It is nearly as important as knowing you child's triggers and how to handle them.

I use INTEGRATION all the time, especially if my child is going some place new.

My first step is to see if there is a leader of the group, a teacher, parent, etc. and introduce my child to them.  I let them know that, yes, my child has... and may have an issue at some point.

Next I walk my child over to a group that maybe my child has expressed a desire to be a part of.  This is very rare for an Asperger's child like mine, but can happen; usually I have to ask do you want to play with (blank) and not mention the children (if any) that are around or playing with (blank).  I introduce my child to another child, if any, and ask for their name in return for my child, as most likely my child will not even acknowledge the presence of the other child.

The final step is to walk away and allow for whatever is to happen, happen.

That is the very basic and straight forward steps for any parent on INTEGRATING a child into a situation. However, there are steps that take place on a one on one basis before getting to that situation.

Depending on the age will depend on how much can be understood and how you approach the discussion, but you have to have a talk beforehand. I will use going to a new daycare as my example.  That talk could go something like this:

Parent: Mommy has to go to work tomorrow do you know what that means?
Child: No.
Parent: That means you get to go play with some new friends.  Mommy won't be there but there will be a nice lady named _____, who will be there to take care of you.

It is best to have some variant of this talk everyday for as long as is necessary for your child leading up to and the day of implementation.  If it is a daycare situation then see if you can take your child for an hour or so as like a play date while you are there giving your child the ability to get to know the place and adults that he/she will be around with the security of you there if there is a meltdown.  This will lesson the anxiety that some children have.

H is for HOME

This week I am going to use some possible cliche sayings and phrases to show how I want my Gifted Minded children, and every one else, to see my HOME.

HOME is where the heart is.

HOME can be a heaven on Earth.

There is no place like HOME.

HOME is where you hang your hat.

HOME sweet HOME.

Love at HOME.